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Take a deep breath in, now. Take another deep breath in, and exhale. Watch your breath. Then ask yourself – “Who is Breathing?”! ! What is this knowingness in you and me? What is this energy, or who is writing this, who is it in you whom is reading this? Why am I me, and not you?
Who made your bones, and gave you blood; the arteries, veins, muscles and organs that coordinate like a fine orchestra?! There are probably no answers to the questions above. They are not meant to have answers. Even if they did, by the time they become words, the meaning is lost. They are meant for you to enquire deeper into yourself, beyond this body.
As I look back with amusement at my earlier years. Before I turned 20 years old, I was already practicing Nadi Shodana (Alternate nostril breathing method used in Yoga as a technique to relax the body) with Marijuana. And Kapalabti with cocaine. When I told this to my teachers in the ashram, they were tickled helpless. Who would have guessed that somebody with a fierce death wish, addicted to unorthodox ways to numb childhood trauma, now turns the same passion towards knowing myself.
I consider myself a late learner. Only at the age of 28, when most of my peers have gotten married and had kids, that I discovered I could not fall in love. It took an auto immune disorder, Eczema and a string of heart breaking relationships, to make me finally admit – I have a problem and I don’t know what it is. For the first time in my life I realized I have a soul; and I am not my body.
We carry our body wherever we go, and its difficult to remember that it will go one day. We identify so much with what we see and touch, our accomplishments, bank accounts, our children, our bodies and faces and even how many lovers we have had. But all tangible things are subject to change. They are not truths.
Our bodies, no matter now well we take care of it, will cease to serve us at some time. That is for sure. And then, we will have to change to a new piece of garment; just as we would change into new clothing after a shower.
This body is not our truth. Only that which does not change nor decay over time, is the truth. How much love and joy you have brought to the world, the good and the growth you created for people, your legacy – these are more true than the body.
And perhaps most true of all – Your soul, do you know your soul, and upon releasing that last exhale, how quick you can return back to the source. This is more true than your net worth.
If I could encourage you to enquire just a wee bit deeper into your existence today, I am fulfilled. May we all die with as much light in our eyes as we were born with.
(C) Linda Loo